I spent some time on collarme.com a few weeks ago. I decided to put up a profile and do the whole song and dance. "Hi, I'm Dorkus McCahey and I want to be abused. Please collar me at your leisure".

I met a couple nice women on my journey through that little shit-hole. It made me wonder what the hell they were doing there. It's as if I was crawling around in the mud, rain pouring down and then, all of a sudden, a woman dressed in white, bends over to say hello. The rain and mud never make contact with her. She smiles and then moves on. I am perplexed but it passes and then I shrug and continue to thrash around in the dirt. 

I left collarme fairly quickly. I did encounter a submissive woman by chance. We had a few pleasant exchanges and I realized she is as confused as me about this lifestyle. I'm certain she has issues with men and I really wanted to help her. I will add here that I'm about as worthless as can be but when a woman needs help, I'm galvanized into action. Anyway, I've come to realize I can't help her. It's sad that I can't make the attempt but it's too difficult. She has as many walls around her as do I. We are  twin fortresses on two hills overlooking each other, afraid to attack or even worse....afraid to lower the drawbridge and come out to shake hands and communicate. Or better yet; we come out and she allows me to kneel before her as she offers her hand to kiss and I whisper my undying loyalty.

We don't so what's the point?

By the way, I know most Dommes have protocol when dealing with subs. I too, have a certain protocol when attempting correspondence with a dominant female or heck, any female. If I write to a woman and sign my name "Sincerely, Bill" and she writes back: "So dumbass, what's in it for me?", it's a "dead-stick". I want nothing to do with her.

That submissive woman was the same way. No greeting, nothing....

She was very nice and I sensed she needed something but I couldn't give it to her. Makes me sad. 

There is a song by Dan Fogelberg called "Heart Hotels". Every time I hear this beautiful song, I stop what I'm doing. For some reason, I am almost moved to tears. Here are the lyrics (and I knew sooner or later, I would put song lyrics into my blog. Everyone else does):

Heart Hotels

Well there's too many windows in this old hotel
And rooms filled with reckless pride
And the walls have grown sturdy
And the halls have worn well
But there is nobody living in inside
Nobody living inside

Gonna pull in the shutters on this heart of mine
Roll up the carpets and pull in the blinds
And retreat to the chambers that I left behind
In hopes there still may be love left to find
Still may be love left to find

Seek inspiration in daily affairs
Now your soul is in trouble and requires repairs
And the voices you hear at the top of the stairs
Are only echoes of unanswered prayers
Echoes of unanswered prayers